Awakening Isn’t Always Beautiful: The Messy Middle of Transformation

We love the idea of awakening—the light, the clarity, the newfound purpose. But what we don't always talk about is the in-between. The part where everything familiar begins to unravel. Where relationships fall apart, identities dissolve, and the tools that once worked stop working. This isn’t a failure. This is the process.

I’ve come to call this space the messy middle. And if you’re there, I want you to know: you’re not lost. You’re becoming.

The Breakdown Before the Breakthrough

Awakening doesn’t always come in a flash of light. Sometimes it comes through grief. Or confusion. Or a sense that something invisible has shifted and you can’t quite name it. It’s the moment when what used to feel right no longer does—but the new version of you hasn’t fully landed yet.

This is sacred ground. It’s where your soul is shedding old skin, even if it feels like your life is falling apart.

A Dream That Changed Everything

Years ago, during one of the hardest transitions of my life, I had a dream about a black panther circling me in the dark. I wasn’t afraid—at least not in the usual way. The fear was deeper than fear. It was a knowing: something powerful was watching me, waiting for me to see it.

When I woke up, I couldn’t shake the image. That panther felt like both a warning and a guide—an omen that my life as I knew it was ending, and something fierce and necessary was rising in its place. At the time, I didn’t understand what it meant. But I do now. It was the beginning of the unraveling. The call to reclaim parts of myself I had hidden or abandoned.

It didn’t happen overnight. It took time, loss, reflection, and the support of wise teachers—both seen and unseen. But I’ve never forgotten that dream. It marked the start of a journey I’m still on.

Symptoms of the Messy Middle

If you’re in it, you might feel:

• Emotionally raw or unusually sensitive

• Unmotivated or disconnected from your former goals

• Drawn to solitude or quiet

• Like you’re grieving, even if there’s no obvious loss

• Unsure of who you are or where you’re headed

You’re not broken. You’re awakening. And the discomfort? That’s growth in progress.

Don’t Rush It

In a culture that glorifies speed and certainty, we often try to skip over the mess. But your soul doesn’t work on a quick-fix timeline. The unraveling has its own intelligence. Honor it.

This is a time to rest, to listen, to be gentle with yourself. You don’t need to have the answers right now. You just need to stay present.

What Helps

Here are a few things I often recommend to clients navigating this space:

• Ground daily—walk barefoot, sit under a tree, or simply place your hand on your heart and breathe.

• Journal without editing. Let your soul speak.

• Work with someone who can hold space without judgment (yes, that’s part of what I do).

• Ask your guides, “What do I need to release right now?” Then be open to the signs.

• Meditate

  
  

Need a moment to ground? Here’s a simple breathing meditation you can try anytime. Let it be a touchstone as you navigate your own sacred in-between.

You’re Not Alone

If no one’s told you lately, this part matters. The messy middle is not a detour; it’s the bridge. You’re not behind. You’re not failing. You’re in the sacred work of remembering who you truly are.

And on the other side of this? Deeper clarity. Realignment. Soul-rooted power. But for now… just breathe. You’re doing beautifully, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet.

If you're walking this path and need support, I’m here. This is exactly the work I guide people through—compassionate, intuitive coaching that honors the light and the dark. Because awakening isn’t always beautiful. But it is worth it.

If you’re in a season of unraveling and seeking a grounded, compassionate guide, I invite you to explore my intuitive life coaching offerings. Together, we can bring clarity to the chaos and reconnect you with your inner wisdom—one steady breath at a time.

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